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Latest Threads

Latest News

Bruce cheats on Cyril

Posted By: thesupplantor @ May 1 2012, 03:52 AM in Footyshoop LULZ

Cyril's heart is broken.

Comments: 4 :: View Comments

It's that time of year again!

Posted By: KruZin @ Mar 29 2012, 10:53 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

You gotta love Rd 1.

http://209.85.12.237/30019/134/0/e5024663/e5024663.png

Comments: 4 :: View Comments

The Great Coniglio

Posted By: YouDontKnowJack @ Mar 25 2012, 08:25 AM in Funny Footy Videos

Comments: 2 :: View Comments

Machete Jurrah

Posted By: KruZin @ Mar 8 2012, 05:20 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

QUOTE

Melbourne forward Liam Jurrah is in police custody in Alice Springs after allegedly being involved in a violent incident on Wednesday night.

Alice Springs police today released a statement saying that two 23-year-old men were in custody and investigations were continuing after separate incidents that left a 35-year-old man in hospital with serious head injuries, believe to have been inflicted by a machete, and a 15-year-old male also suffering significant head injuries.

Jurrah returned to the Northern Territory a week ago and is believed to have been caught up in a family dispute that divided the community of Yuendumu, 300 kilometres north-west of Alice Springs, after the murder of a family friend in September, 2010.

Comments: 16 :: View Comments

Where's Wattsy?

Posted By: YouDontKnowJack @ Mar 7 2012, 07:18 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

Wattsy has gone missing during the pre-season. See if you can find him.

http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii269/theogrit/1sm084thumbsup.gif

http://i41.tinypic.com/2yzh9hw.jpg for bigger.
Courtesy of Crimson Azure.

Comments: 4 :: View Comments

Nick Naitanui Slam Dunk!

Posted By: KruZin @ Mar 5 2012, 07:06 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

A SPECTACULAR slam dunk by West Coast star Nic Naitanui at a Perth Wildcats game has gone viral, with Australian sporting identities jumping on Twitter to show their support.

The footage drew responses on social media from footballers and basketballers, who were equally impressed.

Melbourne Tigers legend Andrew Gaze tweeted: “Nic Naitanui could have won the NBA dunk comp with this effort”

Boomer Joe Ingles added: “Damn that is impressive man! Didn’t know you had that in ya!”

Naitanui's teammate Chris Masten sent a message to Naitanui telling him “You are bigger than the game and its awesome #hops #bestcelebrationever”, while Essendon midfielder Jake Melksham kept his tweet short: “#AWSOME!”

Jack Watts tweeted: "Now I know what a real footballer smells like"

The video, which was posted 12 hours ago, has had nearly 3,500 views on YouTube.

user posted image

Comments: 13 :: View Comments

Back to the Future

Posted By: KruZin @ Feb 17 2012, 08:24 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

Yeh... so I travelled 30 years into the future and stumbled upon this photo of Tom Scully and his son, Phil Scully II.

Comments: 1 :: View Comments

The Carlton Team of the Century Quiz!

Posted By: KruZin @ Feb 17 2012, 06:44 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

The Carlton Team of the Century Quiz!

Can you name all 27 infamous greats of the Carlton Football Club's Team of The Century?

user posted image

First person who can name all the legends pictured from 1. to 27. correctly, wins a personalised footyLULZ avatar or photo shopped picture of their choice.

Good luck.

Comments: 6 :: View Comments

The GWS club song

Posted By: YouDontKnowJack @ Feb 17 2012, 06:30 PM in Funny Footy Videos

Comments: 11 :: View Comments

The Giant Centipede

Posted By: YouDontKnowJack @ Feb 16 2012, 04:11 AM in Footyshoop LULZ

While going through the process of selecting a captain, GWS coach Kevin Sheedy drew inspiration from an unlikely source.
"I was watching The Human Centipede on the weekend. I'd rather not tell you what it was about, but all I'll say is that I've never seen a film quite like it in all my years".
Sheedy went on to say "However, there was an element of the movie that intrigued me - the idea of 3 people joined together as one to achieve a common goal. That's how I came up with the idea of having 3 captains. I suppose you could call it 'Sheedy's Giant Centipede'".
Forming Sheedy's Giant Centipede are former Lions champion Luke Power, along with rookies Callan Ward and Phil Davis.
When quizzed about the omission of Tom Scully, Sheedy quipped "I felt Tom wasn't quite ready to join the centipede. Besides, he's more used to shit coming out of his mouth, than going in it".
Sheedy was also asked about Rhys Palmer and Setanta O'hAilpin.
"I couldn't get big Setant in there, every time I put a team mate near him, he'd kick the bejeezus out of them. I'm not sure what happened with Rhys, he went missing during this important period. But on that, we didn't want him falling over and injuring his team mates".
Pictured below is Sheedy putting his new captains through their paces in a co-captain bonding session.
user posted image

Comments: 9 :: View Comments

NorfLogic

Posted By: Cutty @ Feb 12 2012, 08:51 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

Fellow Lultzers

Supporters of all clubs are prone to exaggeration and perhaps unwarranted optimism over the off season, particularly Richmond supporters

However we Tigers must now hand over the mantle to the true kings of off-season delusion

Norf

Norf supporters are possessed of a special thought process known as NorfLogic

NorfLogic works kinda like "The Secret" but instead of asking the universe for what you want and receiving it, You picture what you think should be and just assume that it is/will be irrespective of facts or reality.

Supreme Leader pictured below employing NorfLogic
user posted image

Examples of NorfLogic are:

#1
David Swallow to Norf
user posted image

NorfLogic in play
The Swallow Brothers are Brothers
Brothers want to play together
Parents want Brothers to play together
One Brother is the Captain of Norf so will not move
Other Brother plays for Soulless Franchise with no Shinboner Spirit
Other Brother will request move to Norf after end of initial contract
Because Other Brother has nominated Norf, no other club will make an attempt to acquire him
Norf Wins!

#2
Norf Culture so good, players don't want to leave
user posted image

This theory is a particular favourite of a well-known but little respected poster on Bitpoofy, i'm sure you have encountered it only a few times before

NorfLogic in Play
Norf Fans highly rate their players
Everybody else must really rate their players
Tom Scully signed $6M contract over 5 years with GWS
GWS interested in Norf Player
Norf beats Melbourne regularly
Norf Players better than Melbourne players
Norf Players worth more
Norf Culture too good to defeat with money
Norf Player stays at Norf because of culture
Norf Wins!

#3
Premierships from x date onwards are the only ones that count

Golden Line of Premierships counting below
user posted image

Apparently every premiership won after this golden line is valid

NorfLogic in Play
Norf pulled their finger out and finally got serious about aiming for premiership glory in the Mid 70's
Therefore all other clubs only started trying in the Mid 70's as well
Therefore everybody was just pissing around before then
Pre 1975 premierships are meaningless
Norf now equal 3rd Most Successful Club in AFL/VFL History
Norf Wins!

Feel free to post any other examples of NorfLogic that you encounter

Comments: 9 :: View Comments

Dancing with the Fev

Posted By: KruZin @ Feb 11 2012, 02:52 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

QUOTE

SPECULATION is further heating up that Brendan Fevola is a sure thing to hit the dance floor on this year's Dancing with the Stars.

The former AFL bad boy is understood to have signed on the dotted line, after being in long negotiations with Seven.

Our sources have also confirmed that Fevola's dancing partner will be none other than Cinthia Fernandez from Argentina's version of Dancing with the Stars.

If you don't watch the below video right to the very end, you ARE a massive homo!

http://209.85.48.9/829/169/emo/!___YES.gif

Comments: 7 :: View Comments

Port Adelaide FC inbred. 1870

Posted By: KruZin @ Feb 8 2012, 01:41 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

I recently stumbled upon this amusing signature used by a mad Port Adelaide supporter on a footy forum, somewhere on the interwebz.

QUOTE

Look, the reason I obsess about the Crows is to divert attention away from the embarrassment that is the cash strapped rabble of a franchise that I follow. Oh, and to set the record straight, Poort Power were est 1997 not that 1870 shite that my fellow inbreds down at Alberton sprout daily!

He certainly knows his club culture, although history suggests that inbreeding at Port goes back a lot further than 1997.

Comments: 1 :: View Comments

Dustin Martin Must be Stopped!

Posted By: Cutty @ Feb 5 2012, 11:29 AM in Footyshoop LULZ

Im writing this to you all from the Justice League HQ in the Nation's Capital

It has recently come to the attention of the Superheroes of the world that a new super villan has emerged.

Dustin Martin has abused his powers by using his pure awesomeness to tear a hole in the fabric of space and time and wreak havoc across world history.

what we thought were simple natural disasters and tragic accidents were actually the work of the Tiger's #4

Using my own awesomeness I have created my own tear in the space/time continuum and captured him in the act

Exhibit A:
user posted image

(shamelessly stolen for the BitPoofy RFC team board)
Recent Cruise Ship Grounding = Martin

Exhibit B:
user posted image

The Indonesian Tsunami = Martin

Exhibit C:
user posted image

Even the Fucking Hindenburg = Martin
(Flight assisted by Marty McFly's Hoverboard)

I now call upon all lultzers to identify the real causes behind the so-called "natural" disasters and "tragic accidents" throughout history

Comments: 7 :: View Comments

Melbourne appoint youngest ever captain

Posted By: YouDontKnowJack @ Feb 4 2012, 06:43 AM in Footyshoop LULZ

MELBOURNE has placed its leadership in the hands of youth, appointing youngsters Jack Trengove and Jack Grimes as co-captains for 2012.

Trengove will enter the record books as the youngest ever full-time VFL/AFL captain. He will be 20 years, 211 days when he plays in round one against the Brisbane Lions.

user posted image

The 22-year-old Grimes has played just 32 matches in four injury-interrupted seasons and will be one of the least experienced captains in history in terms of games played.

Trengove has played 37 games since his debut in 2010.

Joining the pair in the Demons' new leadership group are Clint Bartram, James Frawley, Colin Garland, Mark Jamar, Nathan Jones and Mitch Clark, who only joined the club during trade week in October.

Ex-skipper Brad Green has been removed completely from the group, and former leaders Aaron Davey, Jared Rivers and Brent Moloney have also missed out.

Melbourne coach Mark Neeld said Trengove and Grimes had earned their positions through their actions since his appointment.

"I acknowledge that the group is young," Neeld said.

"It has the potential to lead the Melbourne Football Club for a long time.

"[Trengove and Grimes] have become captains by leading by example.

"I only have their actions and behaviours over the last four-and-a-half months to go by, and they've been terrific.

"I expect them to continue to act in that manner, and to grow and develop their leadership skills over time.

"I've got no doubt that they'll do that really well."

Neeld said that when he started in his role he was "absolutely certain" that he wanted only one captain, but had been unable to split Grimes and Trengove.

He also said he was unconcerned at the duo's inexperience.

"I'm not a fan of using birth certificates with leadership," Neeld said.

"It's about the way they go about it."

Both new captains said they were surprised and honoured when told of their appointment, and predicted that their leadership style would be based around care for their teammates.

"I'm definitely not the loudest bloke in the team and I don't really plan to change that at all," Grimes said.

"I like to think that I'll talk when something needs to be said and hopefully let my actions do the talking.

"Jack Trengove talked about care, and I think that's what we'll be all about: care for our teammates and care for the club."

Trengove also said he wouldn't be the most outspoken captain.

"I'll just go about my business and try to bring everyone along.

"A lot of the great past and present leaders around the AFL are those type of leaders, that have the ability to raise the standard and pull everyone in the group along with you.

"That's something that as a group we're going to work on."

Neeld met with Green on Thursday to explain that he wouldn't be part of the Demons' new generation of leaders.

"I'm a new coach and it was the hardest thing I've had to do so far," he said.

"To sit down with a player who has nearly played 250 games and is the captain of an AFL club, and I sat face to face in the office and told him that he wasn't going to be captain of the club.

"It was harder for Brad to hear than me to deliver, but it's part of the job."

After the announcement, Trengove told 3AW: "I had a brief chat to 'Greeny' after it was all announced today.

"He's a very professional person (and) he's very disappointed that he's not in the group, but he's already said he's going to give us his full support and he's always there for me.

"I'm going to be learning things off him for the rest of his career and my career, so he's going to be a great person to have around the place just to talk to as a sounding board."

Trengove admitted to being daunted by the weight of history in becoming the youngest skipper of all time.

"When you look back and listen to those (names of) greats in the past who have been young captains, it's pretty daunting and I suppose there is a bit of added pressure there," he told Sports Today.

"But it's not something you really try and look into too much.

"I'm confident we've got a good leadership group together and having as co-captain in Jack Grimes as well I think we'll be able to get through it together and we'll be learning as we go.

"It's going to be a great challenge, obviously."

Asked about newly appointed club president Don McLardy's suggestion in The Age that there were similarities between the current Demons and Geelong circa 2006, the youngster demurred.

"We're definitely not comparing ourselves to Geelong at the moment," he said.

"We're totally different to where they’re at. If we can turn out anything half as good as Geelong it would be a great achievement …"

Youngest captains in League history

Age* Games Season Prev. Games
David Dench (NM) 20 221 1972 47
Haydn Bunton (Fit) 20 299 1932 18
Kevin Dynon (NM) 21 249 1947 20
Michael Voss (BL) 21 266 1997 79
Wayne Carey (NM) 21 303 1993 60
Colin Rice (Gee) 21 317 1960 36
Damian Bourke (Gee) 22 66 1987 31
Bert Mills (Haw) 22 72 1932 35
Ray Brew (Car) 22 121 1925 26
Billy Schmidt (Ric) 22 121 1910 35

*A player's age is taken from his club's first game of that season.

The above players were named as captain for the season specified. The youngest acting captain was Bernie Quinlan, who was 20 years and nine days when he led Footscray in round 18, 1971.

Comments: 12 :: View Comments

DO YOUR WORST - OFF SEASON LULZ

Posted By: Plugg3r @ Dec 16 2011, 12:15 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

C'mon people lets have some fun! It's the off season and we're all banned for "The other site"

http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/697/trolled.gif

So lets have some lulz!!!

user posted image

So do your worst to this picture, winner will win... stuff!

Comments: 11 :: View Comments

Be sure to give to the needy this festive Season

Posted By: Cutty @ Dec 12 2011, 07:56 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

Tis surely the Season to be giving

It is with this in mind that I post this community service announcement, a reminder to consider those less fortunate than ourselves.

Within the AFL world there are certainly some very needy causes

Norf, Richmond and the Bulldogs debt reduction initiatives; Kim Duthies Homeless Ho's Fund; Tom Scully's Kebabs for Western Sydney Auskickers plan and of course Judd's famous brown paper bag exchange scheme.

Lo and behold on the way to donate to one of these causes, I encountered a forlorn man sitting on the street

user posted image

I asked if he was ok and he proceeded to tell me a tale of such woe that Satan himself would shed tears

"My poor club, the Bombers are without a home! we were turfed out of our comfortable abode by a bunch of old scrooges with Henselite wrecking balls."

"I desperately need somewhere to house my little orphan boys before they become street workers, I've already lost my Monfries and Winderlich to the rent-boy trade!"

I asked how I could help him out and he said

"all I need is $5 million to build them a nice potato farm out at Tulla, any contributions you could make would be most appreciated"

I was so affected by this tragic situation that I gave him my empty JD can, after all, it's worth 5 cents in SA

Let this serve as a reminder to you all that there are very needy groups that require our support this Festive Season

Merry Christmas and God Bless Us..........

...Every one!

Comments: 7 :: View Comments

All Blacks haka remix

Posted By: YouDontKnowJack @ Nov 5 2011, 09:54 AM in Funny Footy Videos

Pissed myself laughing, some great editing and sh00ping in this vid.

Comments: 4 :: View Comments

Dawson walks out on Saints

Posted By: YouDontKnowJack @ Nov 1 2011, 08:13 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/afl/zac-...f-1226180951129

QUOTE

Zac Dawson has rejected St Kilda's contract offer and is looking to rejoin former coach Ross Lyon at Fremantle via the pre-season draft.

The 25-year-old defender has told teammates he will quit, and the Dockers are believed to be willing to offer him a long-term deal on more than $300,000 a season.

So....how long until we see this?:
user posted image

Comments: 19 :: View Comments

New Richmond logo

Posted By: YouDontKnowJack @ Oct 30 2011, 08:29 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

Last week Richmond released a new logo. After fedback from supporters, it was decided the tiger didn't look angry enough.
We've obtained a copy of Richmond new updated logo:
user posted image

Comments: 0 :: View Comments

OFF SEASON SH00P COMP #1

Posted By: Willo @ Oct 21 2011, 07:14 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

During the off season we need things to do....

Figured a sh00p comp would be the way to go!

1st cab of the rank is this wonderful picture of King Eddie McChins looking not so happy during the GF... Can't possibly work out what would have upset him.

I have had a very quick go at one idea I had...

user posted image

annnnnnndddd GO!!

Comments: 10 :: View Comments

it's over

Posted By: gageless @ Oct 3 2011, 02:37 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

Couldn't resist.

user posted image

Comments: 3 :: View Comments

Tom Scully song parody

Posted By: YouDontKnowJack @ Sep 12 2011, 09:38 PM in Funny Footy Videos

Was posted on the BP Demons board today:

Comments: 0 :: View Comments

Baker - "I'm not retired".

Posted By: YouDontKnowJack @ Sep 11 2011, 01:47 PM in Footyshoop LULZ

http://www.sportal.com.au/afl-news-display...irements-137775
user posted image

Demetriou: Bring out your retired!
[a man puts a body on the cart]
Ross Lyon: Here's one.
Demetriou: That'll be ninepence.
Steven Baker: I'm not retired!
Demetriou: What?
Ross Lyon: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
Steven Baker: I'm not retired!
Demetriou: 'Ere, he says he's not retired.
Ross Lyon: Yes he is.
Steven Baker: I'm not.
Demetriou: He isn't.
Ross Lyon: Well, he will be soon, he's very shit.
Steven Baker: I'm playing better.
Ross Lyon: No you're not, you'll be a complete spud in a moment.
Demetriou: Well, I can't announce his retirement like that. It's against regulations.
Steven Baker: I don't want to go on the scrapheap.
Ross Lyon: Oh, don't be such a baby.
Demetriou: I can't take him.
Steven Baker: I feel fine.
Ross Lyon: Oh, do me a favor.
Demetriou: I can't.
Ross Lyon: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He'll retire soon.
Demetriou: Nah, I've got to go to the Western Bulldogs. They've lost nine players today.
Ross Lyon: Well, when's your next round of retirement announcements?
Demetriou: After Tom Scully announces where he's going next year.
Steven Baker: I think I'll go belt someone.
Ross Lyon: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
Steven Baker: I feel happy! I feel happy!
[Demetriou signals, and Steve Johnson knocks Baker out]
Ross Lyon: Ah, thank you very much.
Demetriou: Not at all. See you next Thursday.
Ross Lyon: Right.

Comments: 10 :: View Comments

Fev offers to play on minimum wage

Posted By: YouDontKnowJack @ Sep 9 2011, 10:46 AM in Footyshoop LULZ

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/afl/pay-...t-1226132664346

QUOTE

BRENDAN Fevola will nominate for the draft on the base fee in a bid to resurrect his AFL career.

Fevola, 30, told The Footy Show he was well on top of his gambling and drinking issues and wanted the chance to win back the respect of the football public.

"I don't think there is any issue whether I can play footy or not at the top level," Fevola said.

"It's just the baggage that I have and hopefully I've dropped some of that off, hopefully most of it. Time will tell, but I'll kick myself if I don't get drafted, because it's my fault I haven't got an AFL career any more.

"So I'd like the opportunity to get that back. If I do get drafted it will be for minimum chips and I'll have to earn my spot."

Fevola said he hadn't had any approaches, but would nominate for the draft and hope for the best.

"When you get something taken away from you, it hurts. I never thought footy would get taken away from me, that was the state of mind I was in. That's all changed now and if I get that opportunity, I'll have to prove myself, which I'm willing to do," he said.

Comments: 6 :: View Comments

Running Unreal Portal 1.5.2 by Cricket and bammerboy.